Rock the Casbah with a Rock Hard Bod
1.27.2003Claire Zulkey
Claire Zulkey lives and works in Chicago and her full time job is fairly unrelated to anything she really wants to do for a living. She has written for the Second City Training Center, The Chicago Tribune, Modern Humorist and more, and you can read her every day on her website, www.zulkey.com. Keep an eye out for her So New Media book, supposedly due out by the end of the summer.
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Mixing punk and aerobics seems akin to mixing death metal and Sunday school.

Joe Strummer, the lead singer of the Clash, is dead. Undoubtedly one of the most important bands in the history of rock n' roll, the group revolutionized punk with infusions of reggae and strong political statements. Like two of the other foundation bands of punk, the Clash now joins the Sex Pistols and the Ramones as bands that have lost their important members prematurely.

Fortunately, for punk devotees, the genre lives on.

In cardiovascular form.

In addition to step, jazz, kickboxing and even stripper aerobics, we can now add "Punk Rock Aerobics" to the list of this ever-evolving and gimmicky exercise. An activity mostly represented by the '80s, Jane Fonda, Olivia Newton-John, and Richard Simmons is now reaching to the punk mentality of the '70s for inspiration as two Boston aerobics-certified punkers, Hilken Mancini and Maura Jasper, combine the two with their trademarked Punk Rock Aerobics.

When one thinks of punk, what springs to mind? Joey Ramone's black leather jacket, Sid Vicious cutting himself and spitting blood at audience members, and wanting to be sedated. When one thinks of aerobics, normally it's of sweatbands, white women in ponytails and maybe the Pointer Sisters. Mixing punk and aerobics seems akin to mixing death metal and Sunday school.

However, the founders of Punk Rock Aerobics seek to mix the two into an effective, yet fun and kickass method of exercising. Consider their mission statement, combining positive, cardiovascular calls to action with, well, vulgarities:

Take control of your body!
Take control of your mind!
PRA is not about how you
look but how you feel.
Tight abs don't mean shit
if you're a spineless fuck
who can't think for yourself.
We aim to inspire, empower, and have a good time.
The PRA fitness revolution starts in your mind.
Free your mind and your ass will follow.

If that doesn't explain it all, the brainchild of Mancini and Jasper combine punk music with inspired moves with names like squatter's revenge, soccer snatch and slut butt. The site promises "No more sucky classes full of brain-dead bimboes."

Of course, it's got more punk touches than just the music and the moves. Leaders and participants show up in creative attire (including fishnet stockings), and smoking and drinking is allowed throughout the workout. But it is a legitimate workout as well: the class is an hour and a half long and includes cardio as well as strength training (with spray-painted bricks as weights.) In terms of additional punk touches, attendees work out to the tunes of Black Flag and the Stooges, and even form a mosh pit at the end of class.

But still? Can it be punk if it's aerobics? "It sounds like an oxymoron but we're doing it.," says Jasper in an interview with CBS.

To some, punk rock is not something that is mildly applied to a trend; it's a way of life (and unfortunately, some of those people are now dead because of it.) However, are punk and aerobics mutually exclusive? Are aerobics a valid form of punk expression? Would a real punker take punk rock aerobics?

Just ask Neal Pollack, author and punk aficionado. "The fact that [PRA] is being reported on at ABC and MSNBC make me question the 'punkness' of it all. Seems like more of an activity for yuppies with punk T-shirts. But since I am a yuppie with punk T-shirts, I kind of like it."

Fellow punk rocker and writer Jim Ruland is enthusiastic about the rockin' workout combination. "Oh this cracks me up. I think it's a brilliant idea. I'd go in a heartbeat, if it were available here in LA. It's a very novel and interesting approach to exercise. Besides," he challenges naysayers, "making declarations about punk rock only leads to having one's own punk rock chops called into question."

Ruland explains his view that punk rock and aerobics are not necessarily mutually exclusive. "In punk rock, music comes first, fashion comes second, after that its anything goes. So if you can combine the music and the fashion with a third element, it retains its punk rock-ness. There's punk rock porno and punk rock bowling; if something as all- American and emblematic of staid conservative consumerism as bowling can become punk rock , then why not?"

So while it might be an unlikely pairing, it's not necessarily a ludicrous one. "Punk rock has become a commodity, and it's only going to become more prevalent. People seem to forget that the Sex Pistols were front page news, the Clash and the Buzzcocks were hit machines, and having dyed hair could get you barred from Disneyland. If this was a Bally's thing and the music featured was Blink 182 and New Found Glory, then, yeah, I'd have a problem with it. The way I see it, a handful of likeminded people want to get together and work up a sweat while listening to music they like, they should do it," adds Ruland.

Of course, aerobics and punk always both come down to the most common denominator. Adds Pollack, who says that he would take Punk Rock Aerobics, "There are a million ways to exercise, most men take aerobics to meet or at least look at women, and punk chicks are hot."