There's no doubt that couples have been getting married at a later age now than they were a few generations ago. Factors like education, careers, a desire to enjoy singlehood and the hopeful assurance that waiting might make for a more solid marriage have delayed the age of getting hitched these days, couples that wed in or directly out of college are more of an anomaly than the norm.

To many of us, college is signified by hitting the books and hitting the bars, dining in cafeterias and wearing pajamas out in public. So what's it like when you spend the supposed best years of your life in supposed wedded bliss? And, if you are planning on wedding while still in school, what can you learn?

KNOW THY SPOUSE, EVEN IF YOU HAVEN'T KNOWN THEM FOR LONG

Many of the subjects I interviewed had known their spouses since high school or earlier, especially through churches. Jeff Bogdan, 26, met his wife Jenni through his church youth group his sophomore year of high school, and married her when he was a senior and she was a freshman at North Central College. Matt Hearn has known his wife Sarah since the seventh grade, and they wed in 2000, when Hearn was a fifth-year senior at the University of Delaware. Alex* met his spouse through church camp in junior high and married her in 1993, graduating in 1994 from Kent State University. Michelle Golafshar, a senior at Truman State University, met her husband Grant while playing on their church softball team and they wed just this summer.

While most of these couples knew each other early on, Luke met his athletic wife as a manager for the University Tampa volleyball team and married her in 1999 as a junior. "She was amused and instantly smitten by my thorough incompetence."

Ann Valenty, a student at University of Minnesota, Twin Cities, met her husband through the personals site CollegeClub.com. "He matched my criteria exactly; red hair, green eyes, slim, didn't smoke but drank occasionally." They met in person and were engaged about a year later.

Despite how well couples know each other or seem compatible, however, Alex, separated from his wife, cautions: "The person you are so in love with at 22 might be a different person at 30, and you might not like them. Especially if you have a lot of separate friends and separate interests, maybe it's better to wait. As the singer Larry Norman used to say, 'If you're 18 and your in love and think you have to get married, wait till you're 19 ... or 30.'"

SO WHY'D YOU DO IT?

"As much as I'd like to say the opinions of others don't matter, it gets to you when you mention your wife and the immediate reaction is 'Why'd you get married?'" says Luke, who married his wife after finding out she was pregnant.

However, since marrying in college isn't an incredibly common occurrence these days, why did these couples do it?

"I told my mom I knew I would marry Jenni before we were even dating," says Bogdan. "I just said, 'I know she's it.' And I think we got married for a lot of factors. My parents were getting divorced and my home life wasn't great, and I wanted some stability."

After dating off and on since grade school, Hearn says he and his wife "Spent about eight months trying to figure out what the next step would be. Sarah's not the kind of girl that just hangs around, and her conservative parents weren't going to let us live together. Either I asked her to marry me or convinced her to try S&M, just so we'd have a new direction."

"I guess we wanted to get married as soon as possible, to start spending the rest of our lives together right away, or some romantic stuff like that," says Alex, who also intimates that his wife was rather hot for a wedding.

"The thought of waiting 14 months [until my graduation] was unfathomable," Golafshar says simply.

"Why would we have waited?" asks Valenty, even more simply.

NOT FOLLOWING ANY CROWD

Most friends and family supported the marriages of my interviewees. "To my surprise, my folks were pretty excited and not at all angry," says Luke. "I have an older bachelor brother and I think my mom was beginning to wonder if she'd have grandkids anytime soon."

However, some still felt a bit out of the loop with their peers.

"Some of my friends thought I needed to see other people for a while," says Hearn.

"I sometimes feel like I no longer fit into a demographic," says Valenty. "No one markets to me, and there is no identity in the media I feel I relate to. It seems like my peers are wondering what to do and where to go after they graduate, and don't understand themselves well enough to really commit to anything. Sometimes I feel I relate better to my co-workers, who are in their late 20s and early 30s. But yet they are somewhere else, too. I love where I'm at in life, and don't totally mind being my own 'demographic,' but sometimes I wish I had others to relate to," says Valenty.

OLD OR YOUNG, MARRIED FOLKS DON'T GET SMASHED

Most of the people who got married early didn't mind missing out on the typical college scene of dating and drinking.

"I dated around, I drank too much, I moved every few months. It got old fast," says Valenty. "Even before I was engaged I preferred a nice dinner and a glass of wine and maybe a movie over going to a bar and drinking till I passed out or puked. I think some of my peers didn't understand this, because as they were turning 21 and discovering the bar and club scene; I was planning a wedding. I think some of my friends thought that getting married was taking place of partying and get wasted with them."

Even though Luke missed out on parties and graduations while his wife was pregnant, he concedes, "Casual dating is a little overrated in my opinion."

However, Alex did miss feeling like a student. "I never lived on campus in school, so I think I might have missed out on things by that simple fact. I think perhaps I might have been involved in some other things on campus if I didn't have to worry about the relationship."'

Hearn, on the flip side, was able to maintain a healthy college life with his wife. "We both would go out and drink, hang out with our friends; I continued performing with my a cappella group, Sarah continued working with her dance company. The only thing I missed out on is getting to bang lots of different women, but my ability to do that is nil anyway."

HOMEWORK? BUT I'M MARRIED!

The excitement of a new spouse and a new phase of life can certainly make something as not-fun as school seem secondary.

"I must admit, it makes study time a lot less important," says Golafshar. "The most difficult part was knowing I would be missing classes, and have little time to make things up. I think the biggest struggle was knowing I may have to take a class or two over again, but it was a choice I was willing to make, and fortunately, I didn't have to take any over. School gets pretty stressful sometimes, and it wears on my emotions quite a bit, but my husband is always consistent in being there and listening, even when I don't make much sense."

Alex says, "There was added stress of maintaining a relationship school, and work. The fact that sometimes school took a back seat to other things, especially having to work to support our 'family,' not just myself, was a downside to being married early."

Despite the distractions, however, to some, having a spouse in college was helpful when it came to academics.

"I was a lot more motivated," says Bogdan. "It was great to have somebody there. Jenni would push me and tell me to do my homework."

Alex adds that this sense of ambition can have its flip sides. "I also think I might not have finished school as soon as I did -- having to finish and be responsible was a big motivator. However, I started work on my education certificate, and didn't complete that because I decided I needed to finish quickly. So I ended up with a degree in English (which I wouldn't trade), no teaching certificate, and ended up going into a sales job. I think if I hadn't been married, I might have been more relaxed and pursued either the education certificate or pursued a master's degree in English. So I think I missed out on that as a result of being married."

YOU'RE A TEAM PLAYER, NOW

Due to their youth and relatively unusual stance of being married at such a young age, many couples feel a comforting "us against the world" sense.

Valenty says, "I have a support system now, someone who backs me up no matter what. I suppose that translates into my academic pursuits. I find that having a stable home base makes it easier to balance work and school and studying. I feel marriage has really satisfied and fulfilled me, and now I can take on greater things."

"A lot of people feel like they want to establish themselves before they get married, with homes and careers," said Bogdan. "Jenni and I wanted to do that together."

"It was a good money saver," adds Hearn, on a more practical note. "It was basically like having a roommate that would buy all the food and screw me every so often."

DIFFERENT SCHEDULES, DIFFERENT LIVES

The combination of being a student and being a spouse can be a difficult one to adjust to.

"It was a little weird having my wife put me through school," says Bogdan, whose wife worked as they studied. "But at the same time, we had an understanding that we'd be having a family and I'd be supporting her later."

"We did have some issues while I didn't have a job," says Hearn. "I didn't have class until noon most days, so [my wife] was very frustrated having to get up at 7 and go to work when I would sleep in until 11 and then, often as not, just cut class and play video games for eight hours. It's hard to find time to spend together, and sometimes you have to be willing to just sit near each other while you do your homework and call it 'togetherness.'"

HOW DO THEY DO IT?

Are you a student thinking about getting married as well? Those who have been there offer some advice on how to make it work.

"You've got to have a lot of trust and flexibility. Married adults aren't living in a world where all their friends are going out and having fun five nights a week..You can't be selfish and want your spouse to stay home when you go out or vice versa," advises Luke.

Alex agrees. "I think there needs to be a lot of flexibility on both sides, to allow expression and exploration to allow friendships to develop and to let each other pursue private interests."

Valenty advises young lovers to seize the day, in a responsible manner. "Don't wait just because someone thinks you should, but don't get married because you want a wedding, or want to get out of your parents house. Get premarital counseling. Talk about what you want out of your lives. Talk, talk, talk. "

AND, IN THE END...

Out of six people I interviewed, one couple is in the midst of a divorce, another got their marriage annulled after a miscarriage and Bogdan recently celebrated his tenth anniversary with his wife Jenni (along with their two children.) But, do they think early marriage is for everyone?

Some say definitely not:

"I don't think it's for everybody," says Bogdan. "You have to be a responsible person. But I'd do it again," he says with a smile.

"I would wait," says Alex. "I think that if we had waited, we might not have gotten married, and that might have saved us a lot of grief over the past 10 years. It might have made sense to wait a while and grow up a little more. College is a time to learn and explore. If you think you've been there and done that, then you probably miss out on stuff you could experience."

But others...

"If a marriage is strong and healthy, it will work regardless if you're in college, out of a job, sick, have children, whatever. I feel marriage has really satisfied and fulfilled me," says Valenty.

"I wish I'd been smart enough to predict that sex would virtually stop within six months of getting married," rues Hearn. "If I'd been a little more skillful with the ladies, I might have wanted to play the field a little bit first. But I think we did the right thing, and I'd do it again."

*Name has been changed