Shayla was my first interview. I met her in the hallway at work, on my way back from lunch. Keep in mind that I work at a health clinic occupied largely by physicians who are too good to speak to the rest of the common folk who work around them and avoid eye contact at all costs. It rubs off, and I thereby generally avoid eye contact, too. But since I'd seen her before and since she was about my age, I approached her while walking back from lunch and made nice. She graciously agreed to answer my (sometimes invasive) questioning.

Name: Shayla
Age: 24
Occupation: writer
Years at Occupation: 1
Goal: To marry rich and have a cute pool boy.

She was just kidding. Sort of. I think. Anyway, we had a good laugh about it.

Either/Or:

New York, NY or Birmingham, AL?
New York

Author's note: I don't expect many people to pick the latter one.

Rome or Paris?
Rome

Gold or Silver?
Platinum

Maybe she wasn't kidding about marrying rich.

Fritos or Baked Lays?
Fritos. But she says they're like the sandwiches at Schlotsky's Deli -- a salt lick. And salt gives her migraines. So she's apparently a masochist.

Peanut Butter: Smooth or crunchy?
Smooth. And generic brands won't do.

Only the best for Shayla, of course.

Ice Cream or Yogurt?
Ice cream.

Sandals or Tennis Shoes?
Sandals.

Books or Magazines?
Books, books, books, magazines.

Duck, duck, duck, goose?

Mac or PC?
PC. But she's MAC-curious.

Beer or wine?
Both.

Only top-shelf, I'm guessing.

Rolling Stone or Wall Street Journal?
Neither.

Saturday Night Live: reruns or new episodes?
Reruns.

True/False:

George Bush is the devil incarnate.
True

Life sucks.
True

I hate talking to strangers.
True

Thanks a lot, Shayla.

I floss my teeth every night.
True

Her dentist would be proud. Maybe he'll be proud enough to marry her.

I believe in love at first sight.
False

Children should be seen and not heard.
True

Tattoos are only for sailors and Confederate flag-wavers.
False

First Concert:
Madonna

Most Recent Concert:
Little Green Men (Local 80s cover band)

Most Embarrassing Public Moment:
Starting my period at school and having the cutest boy in my class let me know that I might want to change my clothes.

I blushed for her on that one.

Most Exciting Public Moment:
I will refrain from being a Billy Bob and not share it with you, but it wasn't in the car on the way over here.

First Time: (when, where, rating from 1-10)
In a hotel on prom night (no kidding). Rating at the time: 6. Rating now, looking back: 3.

Ouch. I said first, not worst.

Number of Serious Relationships:
1

Free Association:

Mick Jagger -- Satisfaction

coconut -- cake

High school -- lame

Catcher in the Rye -- disappointing

Howard Stern -- take off your top

cold -- shower

blue -- balls

Ayn Rand -- bitch

slap bracelets -- ouch

Teen Spirit -- deodorant

All told, this was a good first experience. E-mail has trained me to avoid face-to-face conversations. Next time I need to interview a complete stranger, I'll scope out all of my potential subject first so that I get the fewest possible blank looks and nasty faces. I get enough abuse at my job -- I don't need that. Shayla was up for the game, though, and made it relatively easy. I might have even enjoyed myself. I told her to remember me when she gets rich -- everybody should know a friend who drinks wine with diamonds in the glass by the case, the meaning of expensive taste (a Lil' Kim reference, courtesy of Shayla during the conversation).