So, you are looking for something crazy to do. You are itching to road trip. I know the feeling. I get the itch too. Well, scratch that itch. Eight friends and I felt that itch in the summer of '96. August 21, 1996, that is. We sought a huge knotted ball. A tangled mess. String was our quest.

Twine. Yes, a big ball of it. That's what you'll find in the small city of Darwin Minnesota. About an hour and half west of Minneapolis (58.5 miles) you'll find yourself in front of what could be considered humanities greatest achievements: "The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota". Inspired by Weird Al's song "The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota" (from the UHF soundtrack), the journey just had to happen. Eight friends and me traveled until we found the ball (it's difficult to miss, there's signs for it right on the highway). We listened to the "Weird Al" song on the way. Here's a short excerpt:

"So one night when my family and I were gathered round the dinner table, I said, 'Kids... If you could go anywhere in the great big world, now, Where'd ya like to go ta?' They said, 'Dad... We wanna see The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.'"

The trip from Minneapolis to Darwin isn't all that exciting. If you are traveling from say Florida, I could imagine it would be more entertaining (like a change of scenery). After a hard day of mini putt-putt, my friends and I simply got in the car and went. Watch out for dirt roads in the backwaters of Minnesota, however. We ended up on some detour and were nearly lost forever in the ill-fated Gravel Pits of Mid Minnesota. The wheels of car slowed as we approached Center City Darwin. We turned up the volume for the "Weird Al" song on the stereo, "We parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence toward that glorious huge, majestic sphere." We we're all taken aback. We didn't think is was that big. I stood before all its glory. Everything around me went silent. I felt at peace. Stunned by its glory, I gave my good friend a hug. That day, we all understood the unspoken power of twine.

The ball shimmered brilliantly in the sunlight. It was simply beautiful. Well, as beautiful as dirty string can be. I felt like my life had been completed. That's right, I don't need marriage, children, money or fame. I have seen the twine ball. If I were struck dead by the powers that be, I would die happy. (Of course, I still haven't seen Ace of Base in concert. You can't have everything I guess.)

We visited during the third week of August. We had just barely missed "Twine Ball Days" which falls on the second Saturday of August. I don't know much about this event, but I believe a parade around the town paying homage to the twine is included. But even though we missed "Twine Ball Days", we enjoyed ourselves just the same. I bought a miniature twine ball, a mug and some postcards. We all signed a twine ball post card and mailed it to "Weird Al". The woman in the Twine Ball shop was happy to talk with us. Apparently, twine is a good way to get visitors. We all walked around and read the articles from newspapers about the history of the twine ball. My friends bought shirts, key chains and magnets. Then we walked outside and looked at the massive ball of string. We just couldn't get our eyes off of it. We all tried to figure out just why this thing was here. "Weird Al" sings in his song:

Personally, I'm not sure why exactly Francis Johnson chose to spend 41 years, 4 hours a day since 1950, wrapping 17,400 pounds of twine. When Johnson died in 1989 the ball was moved from his home to Darwin. It now sits in a "makeshift pagoda" (as "Weird Al" puts it) and is protected by Plexiglas. Johnson's twine ball still holds the record as the largest ball of twine built by only one man. There are other bigger twine balls located in the United States but most of which were a collective effort when being built they do not contend with the one in Darwin. The Twine Ball shop has recently been shut down. But you can still buy twine ball goodies from a nearby house. The town revolves around the twine ball. It's zany. Even street signs have a little twine ball on them. If you are visiting, you can stay in the Twine Ball Inn if you are traveling from far away. I'm not sure what the people of the town really think of the twine but my impression is that it falls close to their hearts. I mean, it is in the center of their town after all.

If you are planning on road tripping to see the twine ball you should prepare accordingly. Bring money for trinkets. Bring a camera, it's worth shooting pictures of. Bring a copy of the "Weird Al" song so you can sing along as you enter the town. And bring your friends. They will be sad if you left them behind.

Get knotted. Get to the twine ball. I did.

A good source for more information about other twine balls and different odd places to visit is around the United States is Road Side America. You can click on the electronic map, pick a state close to you and figure out what goofy stuff is there. A good fan site about the twine ball (includes lyrics and real audio of the "Weird Al" song) is Twine Inertia