KnotFeed: the best of KnotMag.com

KnotMag Says Goodbye

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

I seem to have misplaced my speech.

The Manchurian Candidates

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

The Manchurian Candidate: A great film (or at least a good one) to go out on.

Mike’s Graduation

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Instead, I stand before you today only in literary metaphor. It is 2004, and I am an online columnist for Knotmag.com. I wanted to speak to you today because I never got to give a graduation speech, even though Mrs. Bissell, our 12-grade English teacher thought I would be good at it.

Home is where you might get eaten

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

My home is the small plot of wilderness in Minnesota, which mostly consists of 6 inches of topsoil resting on solid rock. Low-lying areas are constantly muddy, and trees planted in rigid rows replace logged-out areas that border the land to the north. In addition, you may have heard that Minnesota has a mosquito problem; the wise always carry head netting. My home is not perfect, but it's wild.

The question is, do you feel safer?

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Let’s avoid that same situation with terror, and quash the problem where it starts. Instead of battling the terrorists after they’ve sworn to hate the U.S., we need to make it more difficult for them to hate the U.S.

Renting Religion

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

But this tiny, empty, one-room space -- going for a hefty 480 euro (about $580) while outfitted with next to nothing -- comes equipped with an altar, for all my at-home supplication needs.

Parting Ways

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

I could see how it would rub people the wrong way. But was he a bad guy? He couldn’t be in my eyes. Because I’d heard some of the most gloriously incomprehensible noises come out of his ass.

Nocturnal Siesta

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

But that's the thing: everything's still about later. With your hopeful career in entertainment on hold, Sara back east, and all the work toward another degree, you feel like you're not even going to exist for two years, and you hope to God this is all worth it by then.

The Death of the Musical Moron Twins

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

We spent a year building this house. Now we're going to burn the motherfucker down.

Last Call

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

What do the American people crave? Public crucifixions and miraculous comebacks. The only thing better than a celebrity falling to the bottom is one redeemed from the gutter.

First Night with Kittens

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

They hazard to sniff my bracing hand, salty, cold and bloodless as clay, softly toothing (Should i make them stop?) and licking, stopping to stare in terror at my arching architecture rising above and the too-alive eyes staring back from their golem plaything.

Finding Oz

Sat, 31 Jul 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Yet, still the older I get, something still doesn’t feel right. Now and then the concrete jungle feels like a cage and I get anxious. Needing some time away from my new home in order to look at it objectively, I did the impossible. I hopped a flight to Detroit. I went home.

Solo Summer

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 00:00:00 GMT

There are some things I am very clear about. I want a dachshund with his name spelled out on a rhinestone-studded collar whom I will boost onto the couch beside me as we watch Everwood or Without a Trace together. I want a boyfriend who sends me witty e-mails and never calls before 10:00am. I want a comfortable couch that doesn't make me feel as if my life is a failure when I look at its mashed-down cushions and threadbare green-yellow embossed stripes.

Escape from Allentown

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Sometimes, part of finding a home is discovering what home isn't.

Wanderer

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Ah, I admit, I occasionally jones for college and coffee shops and those inane yet inspiring conversations where we "discover" the well-trod trials of human experience. I enjoy the pseudo intellectual blur.